So Many Feelings for Ballet

Hi! How’s everything going? (You can’t just start talking, you need to say “hello” first. Remember when I went on and on about how much I love ballet? I’m about to do that again, because I really, really, really CANNOT live without it.

I got to perform a solo during a Christmas concert and thinking about that whole experience just makes my heart sing. I love dancing so much, I don’t care whether I do it by myself in my room, in the studio during ballet class, or on a stage with an audience watching. It’s all magical to me. But I do admit that there is something so special about performing, because you’re conveying a story to a group of people, and all you have is your dancing and your facial expressions. It’s such a challenge to make the audience feel what the character is supposed to be feeling, but at the same time, there’s no feeling that quite compares to the sheer sense of accomplishment when the ending to the dance is so on point, the audience can’t help but clap.

I have to say that, while I love ballet with every fibre of my being, it also frustrates me to no end. It can make me feel angry, sad, and defeated all at the same time. I can pour my heart, soul, and energy into training and see no improvement at all, which is a whole other kind of awful. I love ballet so much, why can’t it love me back? And let’s be real, my girl Iris said that unrequited love is the cruelest kind, the kind that kills its victims.

the-holiday-sad
Yes, this a reference to The Holiday, aka my favourite winter movie

Sometimes it’s so easy to just give up. I mean, why spend the time and energy doing something you know is never going to get better. But then something just short of miraculous will happen: a near perfect pirouettte, a 180 degree grand jeté or finally nailing a petit allegro (those will be the death of me one day). The feeling brought on by any of these things is just…

The Holiday, happy.gif
Perfect.

Talk to you later,

Mel ♥

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